We all want to create the best family relationships possible. We can be hard on ourselves when we are sometimes struggling in our relationships, not knowing what to do next. Fabulous family relationships are possible. Sometimes all we need to do is change our perspective or make incremental improvements. This can result in big changes, allowing us to feel more connected and in tune with those we love the most.
How we deal with mistakes in our family impacts on the relationships we create in our family. This is because how we do this, plays an important role in supporting our child’s self-esteem, and helping them grow in a positive way. When a mistake is made, does the family culture see it as something the child has done wrong, or is it seen as an opportunity for the child to learn something?
When a mistake is made, is the family culture one of forgiveness and compassion? Mistakes can be a marvellous opportunity to grow our children’s awareness and teach them new possibilities, with love and compassion.
Another important question to ask when creating fabulous family relationships is how does your family communicate? Does it communicate with ease and flow in a respectful way, or do members react aggressively toward each other, or by not speaking to each other to show they are unhappy? Generally, this comes down to the communication skills that the parents have, individually and with each other.
As a parent, if you are struggling to communicate with your partner, or with the relationship in general, it is worthwhile doing whatever it takes to develop a harmonious loving relationship with each other (for more in-depth knowledge on this, see my book on relationships, Love Now). As I’ve mentioned, children are like energetic “sponges” and any energetic disturbances in the family, including conflict between parents, are going to be picked up by them. Not every single little thing, but the overall energy of the family.
Big issues, such as alcoholism, affairs or depression, that aren’t being dealt with by parents, can often have a big negative impact on children. Children not feeling in control or feeling powerless in relation to their parent being happy, may act out as a sign to the adults. This gives the adults the opportunity to work through unresolved issues and restore peace and harmony within the family unit.
What you do is more important than what you say. It’s probably unrealistic to expect that there will never be any conflict or issues; however, modelling how to resolve these disturbances is an important life skill to teach children.
As with an organisation, the family culture comes from the top down. If we are not in a good place emotionally or with our partners (and most people feel like that from time to time), it is possible to learn the skills to create a peaceful and harmonious family life going forward.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
~ Albert Einstein
Having a fabulous relationship is just not automatic sometimes. However, it can always be developed or improved by learning new skills and practicing those skills. If you are really happy within yourself and your relationship with your partner, that joy will flow over to your children. They were created from love, so developing and maintaining a loving close family culture is definitely possible when you devote the time and effort to making it a priority in your life.